a n d y r a i n e y

I’ve always loved quotes —  to derive wisdom from, to gain inspiration through, and to be entertained by. Here is a collection of some of my favorites.

WORDS OF WISDOM:

“Seek those who find your road agreeable, your personality and mind stimulating, your philosophy acceptable, and your experience helpful. Let those who do not, seek their own kind.” — Henri Fabre

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” — Thomas Edison

“That government is best which governs least.” — Henry David Thoreau, Civil Disobedience

“Oh God, thy sea is so great, and my boat is so small.” — Breton Fisherman’s prayer

“Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it… I am haunted by water.” — Norman Maclean

“What is past is prologue.” — Shakespeare

“Do or do not. There is no try.” — Yoda

“What we do in life echoes in eternity.” — Maximus, Gladiator

“Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things. And a good thing never dies.” — Andy Dufresne, Shawshank Redemption

“Get busy living, or get busy dying.” — Andy Dufresne, Shawshank Redemption

“What should be done eventually must be done immediately.” — Jeremy Foley, Florida A.D.

BAMA QUOTES:

“The expectation level is high at the University of Alabama and it should be. What’s wrong with people expecting excellence?” — Gene Stallings, former UA Head Coach, 1/11/1990

“I know there’s tremendous expectations here. I can tell you that, however you feel about it, I have even higher expectations for what we want to accomplish. I want to win every game we play.” — Nick Saban, new UA Head Coach, 1/4/2007

“If you believe in yourself and have dedication and pride – and never quit, you’ll be a winner. The price of victory is high but so are the rewards.” — Paul W. ‘Bear’ Bryant

“You don’t have to flaunt your success, but you don’t have to apologize for it, either.” — Gene Stallings

“I can honestly say that I didn’t come to the University of Alabama because I thought it would be easy. No, I came because I knew it would be hard.” — former Tide player Tommy Wilcox

“Well Eli, Smokey just came out of the tunnel, and he’s about 100 yards away from me now, and if I had my deer rifle I believe I could drop him, back to you Eli.” — Jerry Duncan on the radio prior to UT game

“No one can help but be aware of the rich tradition that is associated with this team and this University. Tradition is a burden in many ways. To have a tradition like ours means that you can’t lose your cool; to have tradition like ours means that you always have to show class, even when you’re not quite up to it; to have tradition like ours means that you have to do some things that you don’t want to do and some you even think you can’t do, simply because tradition demands it of you. On the other hand, tradition is that which allows us to prevail in ways that we could not otherwise.” — Former Alabama President David Mathews

CLASSIC MOMENTS WITH MY FRIENDS:

“Man, this is really a beautiful neighborhood.” — Me
“Shut up Andy.” — Jason, on mile 3 of the Cotton Row Run (likely expressing his displeasure with me for talking him into running a 10k race on our birthday)

“Do you guys hear a cat? I’m telling you, I hear a cat… where IS that stupid thing?” — Me after Jason set my ringtone on ‘meow’ and kept calling me

“Heyyyy B-mannn! I’ve got Tostiiiiiiiiitttttooossss! Extra tasty!” — Jenn, trying to lure Brandon out of his room

“Man, that girl’s got rocks in her head.” — BH
“It’s like a three-ring circus with monkeys and paper airplanes and hydrocodone and party hats and donkeys and industrial cleaners up there.” — Me

“Well, I guess I’m gonna feed my calf and try not to get bit by my donkey.” — all-time classic from Trent

“That’s what she said.” — Me
“So’s your face!” — Phil
[exasperated head shake] — Jason

“You mean that wasn’t the ‘big’ hill? Well, that’s discouraging.” — Me, after first hill on 10k run

“When you say ‘South Pacific’, do you mean, like NOT in the Caribbean?” — Jason, after learning of Casey’s honeymoon destination

“Man, I can BREATHE harder than that.” — Brent, while examining the vent output in our office in the basement of Coleman Coliseum

“Well, it took me three days to make it look BAD, which is a drastic improvement.” — Brent

“Well, that was like a turd in the punch bowl.” — the great Tom Stipe

“I’ll tell you right now, if Mike Tyson walked up and slapped my wife, I’d kill him. I don’t know HOW, but I know WHY.” – Bruce McColl, on determination and beating the odds

“If it makes you feel any better, I’d have had a better day today if I had woken up with polio and dropped an anvil on my toe while running away from my burning house…. ” – Anonymous

“The whole plane will be most of those folks, and the rest will be us.” — recently overheard while waiting as first class/platinum club members boarded an early-morning American Airlines flight in Dallas.

“What about the cornflakes? Are those on hold until the toothpicks arrive?” — BJ’s proposed response to a very strange e-mail

“I feel really close to my windshield right now.” — Cathy’s commentary on my driving in Dallas

MEMORABLE TV/MOVIE QUOTES:

Dwight: “Don’t you want to earn Shrute bucks?”
Stanley: “No. In fact, I’ll give you a billion Stanley nickels if you never talk to me again.”
Dwight: “What’s the ratio of Stanley nickels to Schrute bucks?”
Stanley: “Same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.”
— The Office

“I couldn’t be more surprised if I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet.” — a derivative of a Clark W. Griswold classic

“It’s a dog eat dog world, Woody, and I’m wearing Milk Bone underwear.” — the immortal Norm Peterson in Cheers

“Buddy the Elf! What’s your favorite color?” — Buddy the Elf

“This place looks like Santa’s workshop. Except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they want to hurt me.” — Buddy the Elf

“All right, there’s a thousand things that have to happen, in order. We are on number eight. You’re talkin’ about number 692.” — Apollo 13

“What? Man! Ya’ll ain’t never got two things to go together! You got peanut butter, no jelly. Kool-aid, no sugar. Ham no burger!” — Smokey in Friday

“I like parties, but I don’t like piñatas because the pinata promotes violence against flamboyant animals.” — comedian Demetri Martin

“I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that’s when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.” — comedian Demetri Martin

“One time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.” — comedian Demetri Martin